The Goblet of Smoothicide

We are part of the 21^st century’s 20-somethings that spend their lives reading about and following other people’s lives. Online, we find recipes, memes, fanfiction and great tips on how to feel awesome heading into summer!, it was on such a discovery that Bubbly Bella disrupted the household functioning early one Saturday morning.

She proposed the already carefully thought out and planned menu for the week and subsequent shopping list be binned in favour of a plan on how to feel awesome heading into Summer! . The idea was to do a smoothie detox…nothing but smoothies and water for 10 days. Brainy Bella stomped her feet and crumpled up her shopping list, Bossy Bella shrugged.

We went out and bought 5 bunches of spinach, bananas for the whole of Africa, lemons, natural yoghurt, coconut water, coconut milk, coconut cream, carrots, apples, pears, broccoli, strawberries, pineapples and various flavours of the Tipco organic fruit and vegetable juices.

We thought this was full!

The Bellas are getting healthy.
Let’s go through the rules of the detox.
No Alcohol, no meat, no egg, no wheat(gluten), no alcohol, no cooked food, no sweeteners (incl. honey), oh, did we mention no alcohol?
Being sensible Bellas we had added that we would have a salad for lunch every day, you know, to avoid starvation.
In conjunction with the smoothie detox we had started The Most Amazing Exercise Program.

The week started well.

Morning                                                                      Evening                      
1 cup greek yoghurt                                           1 cup coconut water
1 banana                                                            1 banana
1 cup spinach                                                     1/2 pineapple
1/2 lemon                                                           1/2 apple
1/2 grapefruit                                                     1 carrot

Breakfast smoothie

We got home from work astounded by the quantity of smoothie we had, how we didn’t even eat the salad prepared due to the fact that the smoothie wasn't finished by lunch time. Still relatively full from the morning’s smoothies the Bellas whipped up the evenings smoothie and chugged it down. Everything was great, apart from the actual taste of the goop we were swallowing.

Dinner smoothie - in a pretty glass :)

After the second day spirits were still high, albeit we were a tad hungrier that night. As the days progressed on the hungrier we got towards evening, what was worse, Bubbly Bella and Bossy Bella begun to get sick. They were committing Smoothicide.

By the time the tenth morning rolled around the two of them were down with upset tummies, fever, and sinusitis.

In retrospect, how did we not foresee the fall of our Rome? We lived on comfort food and mulled wine through winter, albeit homemade comfort food and glühwein.

Due to the fact that the Bellas had lost two thirds of its able bodied force The Most Amazing Exercise Program fell to the wayside until the recovery a few WEEKS later.

For your consideration: Brainy Bella has some sort of alien constitution and therefore actually enjoys the taste of smoothicide in a cup and doesn't get sick from healthy living. In fact she was full of energy and her skin looked great and it appeared she was becoming quite God-like towards the end. More investigation required.

Here for your perusal is a table of our Most Amazing Exercise Program which works, 100% tested, when it is actually implemented.
N.B. NONE OF US ARE ACTUALLY TRAINED COACHES OR ANYTHING, SO TAKE IT AS IT'S MEANT :) 


Much love and light!
The Bellas

The Most Amazing ‘Get Sexy’ Plan

(In however many days you can muster yourself to do it in)

Day	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
Sit ups	15	20	25	30		35	40
Crunches	5	8	10	12		15	20
Leg Raises	5	8	10	12		15	20
Plank (seconds)	10	15	20	23		25	30
Push Ups	5	8	10	12		15	18
Squats	50	55	60	65		75	80
Bicep Curls	10	15	20	30		40	50
Punches (seconds)	10	15	20	25		30	35
Dips	5	8	10	15		20	25
Walk/Run	Walk 30 minutes non stop

Day	8	9	10	11	12	13	14
Sit ups	45	50		55	60	65	70
Crunches	30	50		65	75	85	90
Leg Raises	30	30		33	40	42	42
Plank (seconds)	35	38		42	50	55	60
Push Ups	20	22		25	28	29	30
Squats	85	90		110	115	120	125
Bicep Curls	55	60		65	75	80	85
Punches (seconds)	40	45		50	60	60	60
Dips	30	35		40	50	55	60
Walk/Run	Walk 4 mins; Run 1 min x4

Day	15	16	17	18	19	20	21
Sit ups		75	80	85	90		95
Crunches		100	110	120	130		140
Leg Raises		45	48	50	52		55
Plank (seconds)		65	70	75	80		85
Push Ups		35	36	38	40		42
Squats		145	150	155	160		180
Bicep Curls		90	95	100	110		115
Punches (seconds)		90	90	90	90		120
Dips		65	70	75	80		85
Walk/Run	Walk 4 mins; Run 2 mins x4

Day	22	23	24	25	26	27	28
Sit ups	100	105	110		115	120	125
Crunches	150	160	170		180	190	200
Leg Raises	58	60	60		62	62	65
Plank (seconds)	90	95	100		110	115	120
Push Ups	44	45	46		47	48	49
Squats	185	190	195		215	220	225
Bicep Curls	120	125	130		135	140	135
Punches (seconds)	120	120	150		150	150	150
Dips	90	95	100		105	110	115
Walk/Run	Walk 3 mins; Run 3 mins x 4

Week	Walk/Run
5	Walk 2:30; Run 5 mins x 3
6	Walk 3 mins; Run 7 mins x 3
7	Walk 2 mins; Run 8 mins x 3
8	Walk 2 mins; Run 9 mins x 2
9	Walk 1 min; Run 9 mins x 3
10	Walk 2 mins; Run 13 mins x 2
11	Walk 2 mins; Run 14 mins; Walk 1 min; Run 14 mins
Maintence	Walk 3 mins; Run 30 mins